My Brains are Oozing

Impossible to focus.
Must write paper.
Feeling really sleepy.
Sleepy really feeling.
Paper write must.
Focus to impossible.



hmm... focus to impossible.

True Appreciation

There are so many amazing people in my life right now -- its hard to find the balance between them and me. Its hard for me to realize that I need to put aside my urge to spend all my time with them and to do my work.
I love it, though. I love that there are people here who can help fill the void of him being so far away. I love that there are people here who make me laugh and smile and feel alive. I appreciate every single bit of the world surrounding me.

Thank you.

The World of White

It's snowing.
It's snowing so much that the sky and the air and the grounds have meshed into one moving, squirming, swifting mass of gorgeousness.
And I feel all right.

It has been 13 months of pure, untainted, thriving love, and I couldn't ask for anything more.... (besides him coming back home safely). And I hope that in the time we get to spend with each other soon, I can come back to school with no regrets -- no unfulfilled wishes. I don't want to forget anything.

It has been really hard to focus recently, and with only 8 days remaining, I wonder if I can make it without anticipation consuming me.

Heh.. we'll see.

I cannot believe how beautiful the snow here is. It is so clean and pure, and it falls so gently. It gathers in places that no one notices, and despite the gray skies above me, the world is a much brighter place today.

My snowboard got its first ride in way too long, and its just as I've remembered. I saved up for that snowboard for the sole purpose of coming to this school and using it every weekend. This upcoming weekend is just the start, and I'm excited beyond belief.

My holiday break is approaching quickly and I really think it will be the best two weeks of the year. I think the most frustrating thing about it is that my mother is going to be gone, and I'll have to decorate the house, being the only christmas-spirited person in my family. Alas, I'm excited to do it. I hope my dad is pleasantly surprised.... He's seemed unhappy about things recently. I want to do something nice for him this year.

I promise to make this a tradition:

I miss those raggity shoes of yours.

Stars, Love, and My Love for Stars

I've never seen a star go out.
Never seen one twinkle away.
I'd imagine it would make me doubt if it was ever there at all.
You told me, quietly, that you saw a star go out.
You looked up to the sky to immerse yourself in your imagination,
To escape the reality of our distance.
Ironic, it seems.
The blinking out of a star seems more real to me than anything.

~*~

The greatest blessing of all,
I know this now with no doubt,
Is to love and be loved -- equally,
To drink from the same cup and share the juice with no quarrell,
To lace fingers in love and sadness, passion and anger,
To be apart and realize the beauty in all things manifest themselves at a single lover's glance.
I know now from the short journey I've traveled
That despite those who come in --and out-- of your life,
Pure love is the greatest blessing of all.