"You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have."
I think the first half of Daniel Goldstein's talk about the struggle between the future self and the present self poses some interesting questions. He explains about the losing battle of the future self. This future version of us isn't around all of the time to tell us about what they value and how my actions now directly affect them and their happiness, health, and well-being. I had never thought about my future as it's own version of me. Putting my present goals, values and beliefs into a version of me now + the sum of my actions has made me feel much more self aware. I usually think about the future from various points of view, through specific and narrow lenses that separate my career self from my family self from my social self. But when I realize that it's me with all my complexities and facets and feelings and hopes and dreams, I am reminded that I care for that person.
I was inspired to continue to think about Goldstein's initial points and further develop questions of my own: How many future self constructs do we have? Are we bound by a singular understanding of a future self or can we begin to comprehend ourselves as a truly, larger, whole self -- as a humanity? And finally, looping back into Goldstein's main question, are we capable of feeling motivated to work towards positive or ideal future selves without a commitment device? He thinks so, but I'm not entirely convinced.
A common commitment device I think we easily forget about is regret. I had a conversation with a friend today that reminded me of this difficult feeling. Why do people do things that they put subject to this self affliction? Or to be more specific -- why do people do things that they know they will regret later? I've always been amazed at how we can all think of something we've done in the past that we knew damn well that we would regret later; we thought to ourselves, either consciously or subconsciously, "well, I know I'll regret this later but I'll do it anyway." It's easy to see why people do things they regret in general -- I mean, things are always different with 20/20 hindsight, right? But to be able to turn off that empathy with your future self that you know you'll have to live with (at least until you forget what you did) is different entirely. I think Goldstein's example of the Donut is a good one to ponder on.
Am I the only one who is slightly more concerned for humanity when I consider how shitty we treat our own, singular future selves? The fear of regret just sometimes isn't enough of a commitment device to think about our future selves' well being, and to me that is frightening when I think about how our decisions today impact the future of humanity. If we can't even empathize with ourselves enough to change our actions, how are we capable of doing it for people we don't even know or that don't exist yet?
I put the quote about strength at the beginning of this post because I think strength is related. Like Goldstein mentions, the concern for the future self is really a test of will. Do we have the strength of will to keep to our goals and think about the betterment of our future selves? Frankly, while I think the rest of his talk is a bit less interesting, I commend his work for attempting to get people to empathize with that future self and change their behavior based upon that empathy, I just wonder if it can work. Like I mention earlier, if commitment devices like regret don't really work all of the time, well then it sounds like strength is our only option, right? "You never know how strong you are until being strong is the only choice you have." -- Unknown
Think about it for yourself -- Do you have the strength to prevent your future self from feeling regret towards the things you knew you had the power avoid?
Are you being a person today that your future you will regret?
3 comments:
I think doing things you know you'll regret later is basically a matter of hyperbolic discounting: not eating the cookie right now leads to some abstract reward in the distant future, but eating the cookie right now leads to an immediate, concrete reward. Our brains have a really hard time balancing abstract and distant rewards, so we tend to eat the cookie more often than we would if we were completely "rational."
Strength can help, and being aware of the problem can help since you're more likely to notice it happening, but I think that can only get you so far. Using commitment contracts like stickk.com helps some - I use one to make sure I actually go to the gym regularly. They make the penalties for not doing something more immediate and concrete, so the decision becomes a lot easier, but they're pretty much entirely based on negative reinforcement.
Do you have any other ideas for how to fix it?
I completely agree with you, Kate, which is really what Goldstein's talk is pointing out -- we more often than not will choose the immediate gratification because we have a hard time understanding the future.
And in my mind, it comes down to empathizing with that person (you) in the future.
I don't really have an answer, though. The only thing I think I can do is continue to attempt to empathize with that future me, which like you mentions, makes me more aware of my actions. I care about me now, why not care about the me "now" that will be around in 5 minutes, in 10 minutes, in 1 day, 1 month, 1 year? I use commitment devices to keep myself to goals (and sometimes even those fail!). A commitment device takes some sort of personal strength of will; you have to buy into the idea and stick to it. In the TED Goldstein talks about giving away 5 dollars every day he didn't write 5 pages -- but he still had to have the strength to give away those 5 dollars.
Glad you responded! Hope you're well :)
Yeah, I'm great! Crunch has started at work, but I am surviving so far.
I haven't watched the TED talk yet, but I intend to soon when I'm not at work.
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