I've never really understood how apathy works -- how a person can look into the eyes of another, see their emotions and their troubled thoughts, and feel nothing. My awareness of the world recently has brought me to a point where I can no longer forget about those emotions and troubled thoughts. I haven't been at the point where I can no longer care about others' feelings, and I think the awareness of it is tearing me apart at times. I take too many risks now, try to open others up, because I am an open book and I sometimes expect others to be too. It's unfair of me.
Sigur Ros is playing and taking me through the motions, and tonight it brings only detriment. This band reminds me of spending time with Serge, and with so many things on my plate, I cannot think about what is to come. He's a Night Stalker now with a red beret, and that means serious business. We thought he'd be here in a week, but the Army always has other plans. Fear has slowly been replacing pride, and I am so very proud of him. But I just can't think of what is to come.
Aminata Toure was here a few days ago, and everything Ann told us about her was right. Her prescence is powerful, and her intelligence radiates throughout the room. I'll never forget when she told us that she was from Senegal, but corrected herself saying, "But in the UN we have no nationality." To me, right now, that sounds like heaven.
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