Friendships and Communcation

I haven't been around much lately, yet I have been everywhere at the same time. The weeks slowly peel away, and when I look back on this school year so far, I wonder, "It's only September?"

Being a Peer Advisor has been taking up quite a bit of my time recently, and I certainly don't mind. This past week I came home late and had little motivation for school work because of all of the meetings, but I'm pulling through. I have my first big exam in an hour or so, and I'm definitely nervous. Those "open note open book" ones are always deceivingly difficult.

My scattered mind is mapping itself out clearly in this entry because I can't quite get a grip on what to write. Things with Serge are better than ever before, and I know I always write this, but recently things have just been so incredible. There was a short period where we didn't communicate well, and he pointed it out to me. He said, "I feel like we're drifting a part a little bit." I felt it too, but I knew why it was. I told him, "I can't tell you everything that is going on with me because you're having such a hard time right now," and he understood that. And just that moment of clarity, where we came to terms with our situation, has allowed us to move forward. This lesson has been repeated for me in the last few days. The whole idea that people just have to talk to each other because it can sometimes can change a lot, even without changing anything at all. As much as I'd like to sometimes, I cannot read other peoples' minds. I cannot expect myself to, or be expected to.
So lets just talk to each other, then.

This conversation about communication reminds me of how strange it is that people easily forget the past. It is strange how I can look at someone who's friendship with me has faded and feel that sense of awkwardness. Why did I talk to them about certain things before, and not now? Why did things change? Why can we pick up where we left of with some people and not with others? I want so badly to go up to those people who seem to have come out of my life for a while and tell them how much I love them. I want to hug them and tell them how often I think of them. I want to tell them how much I appreciate them in my life.

With time I think I'll get that chance, as long as I can find the guts to so do, and trust that they could be thinking the same things as I am.