It is important to know that people grow and people change. Suddenly the priorities in our lives leave us and become vacant memories of what we used to hope for, or sometimes it isn't the priorities that leave us but the perspectives on them that shift into new desires. It's important for us to understand what we believe, to stand firm on those things but to also grasp onto their capability to change -- to hold onto them, but to do so lightly so that when they are pushed into a new direction we bend with them instead of break against them.
Yesterday I experienced my first unhappy reunion with someone I was once close with. It was unexpected -- a seemingly delightful surprise. He looked down upon me for my absence these last three years instead of embracing the new future that is in our potential to share together as friends. He threw that out the window, brought up the bitterness he felt from the past, and projected that upon me in a way that I know I deserve but had hoped I didn't have to endure. He didn't accept the way that I have changed, and it was weird to experience that. When I saw this good old friend of mine, my heart was full of love and excitement at all of the things we could talk about, and I'm sorry, dear old friend of mine, that it wasn't mutual. I hope that you only briefly mourn the loss of your ideas of who I was, and I am sorry that you didn't bend with me -- you broke against the new direction of who I have grown to be, and for that I am sorry.
I am having another reunion today, only this one I have anticipated for a long time, and for this one I am much more nervous about his judgment of me (for I cared for him more than anyone before, and since our break up 1 year ago, we have not seen each other). I am crossing my fingers.
1 comment:
Good luck, I hope it goes well! Call me if you need to talk.
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